We were interviewed yesterday (10/14) am on the JimandJadeShow, a local (Miami) CBS morning show.

We think we did pretty well for media novices — our super savvy-ness in other areas carried us through.

Check it out and let us know your thoughts. (Did you like the “Walmart for working moms reference?? We did!)

Click here for the video. Link will take you to the station’s website.

When I dreamed of what I wanted to be when I grew up, “short order cook” never, ever made the list. So, today, I stayed home to work from my home office because my daughter, almost age 9, was home sick. (Well, she was sick when it was time to leave the house at 7:10 am, but by 8:20 am, 2 minutes after school starts, she was healthy as a horse.)

She isn’t a picky eater, but she complains ALL THE TIME about the sandwiches I make for her lunch.  Since she was home “sick” and had all the time in the world, I suggested she give me a list of her Top 5 lunch requests.

Here, then, is the raw, unedited list I received in return. NOTHING has been changed:

1. Cheese cassidia
2. salami sandwich
3. a subway sub (from subway)
4. a good hotdog
5. cheesburger

No grilled cheese
No boor head chicken breast
No turkey
Peace!

     It’s easy to be respectful and thoughtful of people who don’t live under the same roof as you..and unfortunately, it’s all too easy to unleash a tyrannical tirade of ridiculousness on those who do share the same breathing space with you day after day.

     Since we all have (giving everyone the benefit of the doubt here) good intentions, I thought it would be great if there could at least be a little silver lining after the nagging thought of, geesh…I probably should have never said that out loud. 

     Here’s what I propose – that there would be a wonderful upside of extra calories burned for becoming unglued (not that I’m promoting acting like a crazy witch, but hey, it’s gonna happen from time to time anyway).    For example; Yelling through clenched teeth at your child prodigy for five minutes =  25 calories vanished.  Adding a couple of loud kitchen cabinet door slams to go with the clenched teeth = 40 calories that hit the road, lunging over the couch to throttle the unlucky recipient in a olympic style hurdle earns you a whopping 100 calorie free pass, etc. 

     I know that’s not very PC of me, but still, it would be nice, wouldn’t it?  Maybe the extra roominess in our jeans would help us be more tolerant in the first place.  Btw, there’s no reason to call HRS, I’m just kidding…well, sort of.

     What is it about teenage boys and their lack of verbal skills?  I know my son can talk.  He can easily extoll the virtues of those new $150 Shaq sneakers, and he managed to burn through 1,450 text messages on his cell phone last month.  Seriously though, when it comes to face to face communication with him, lately, it’s pretty much anyone’s guess as to whether he’ll be in a sharing kind of mood…or a grunting kind of mood! 

     I take some solace in the knowledge that my friends are having the same issues with their oh-so-sweet (yeah, right) teens.  But there’s something about a kid that gives you a know-it-all sideways glance, followed by a deep sigh and a monosyllabic answer, that really pisses me off.  It’s like some weird pavlovian trigger in my brain; he rolls his eyes at me = I immediately have the desire to raise my voice…and not in a pleasant, sing-song way.

     The two of us are stuck in this awkward dance.  He’s 14 and his hormones are raging and running amok.  I’m waaaaay older than 14 and my lack of hormones (hello estrogen?) are making me edgy.  Reason enough to have kids at an early age?

     I can clearly remember my dad telling me (I was 18 at the time), that he really didn’t like me all that much, from the ages of 12 – 17.  Hmmm, not very encouraging, now is it? At the time he said that, I didn’t have enough presence of mind to inquire as to why he felt that way…truth be told, I probably didn’t care that much.  All I wanted was to get back to my dorm so I could get ready for a party that promised to be much more fun than the conversation I was stuck in, at the moment.  Remember grain alcohol?

     So, I guess it’s safe to say (payback) that my kid feels the same way about me???  When did I become not cool to hang out with?  I think I’m still fun to be with, my husband still laughs at my goofy sense of humor.  Did my dad think he was fun back then too?  Crap.

     Maybe I should simply resort to communicating with my son in a way that he’s most comfortable, but I’m not sure he’ll accept my “friend request” on Facebook!

     It’s coming, sneaking up on me like quicksand.  The theme to Jaws is playing in my head. I was feeling like a bad mom, but then I started asking other moms if they felt the same way.  The feeling seems to be universal.  What am I referring to, you ask?  The fact that summer is almost over (at least for us Floridians, where for unknown, inane reasons, school starts in the middle of August).  Growing up in New England, summer didn’t really end until the day after Labor Day…that’s still another 5-6 weeks of summer, by my calcs., but here in FL. school starts in 2.5 weeks.  YIKES!  Holy ickiness!! 

     The late buses, no-show buses, overload of forms to be filled out, fees required for ridiculous things (who the hell ever had to pay for a school locker when we were in school?), lunches and snacks that need to be made everyday because if the kids actually stood in line to buy food, they’d have 3 minutes left of lunchtime to eat the food, kids unhappy with their teachers, homework, afterschool activities up the wazoo, carpooling and shuffling here, there and everywhere, more homework followed by not so warm and loving exchanges between kids and parents, the guilt over not wanting to be a room mom, getting out of bed so early in the morning that it’s still dark out, bedtimes that have to be enforced so our little darlings can wake up somewhat ready to face the school day, etc. etc. etc.

     I’m thinking a tall cocktail is in order for all of us moms, or better yet, a foot massage - that way we’ll all be ready to do that we’re-running-a-few-minutes-late mad dash to the school bus.   You know, that big yellow thing that’s starting to pull away from the curb w/o your kid in it.

Yeah, I know you can relate.

What is it about nighttime and ice cream?

     I’m a relatively healthy eater during the day.  I do my share of biking, misc. cardio and working out to hopefully slow down the case of flabbies that I’m starting to see (ok, I’ve been seeing it for years now, cut me some slack), but somewhere between the hours of 9pm – 11pm, the freezer starts calling my name.  And I don’t mean just a faint whisper, I mean a full blown, “YO WOMAN, THERE’S YUMMY MOOSE TRACKS WITH YOUR NAME ALL OVER IT” kind of beckoning.  Hell, scrap beckoning, it’s like an invisible magnetic force and I’m a giant paperclip!  Do you feel me? 

     I’m not the kind of person who starves herself all day, nibbling at a couple of lettuce leaves so that by the time the evening rolls around, I’m simply ravished.  Nope, not my style, so don’t bother to tell me how to better balance my calories and then the sweet, lovely, creamy ice cream (actually frozen yogurt w/ candy in it) won’t seem so desireable.  It is, plain and simple. 

     Truthfully, I’m not looking for a trick or tip so I don’t eat the stuff – I’ve got enough smarts to figure out that I could toss all offending cool goodness down the drain and only buy sugarfree (which we have plenty of anyway) popsicles etc.  I also keep Dibs (those oh-so-cute little 16 calorie per bite) in the freezer, and plenty of nights make it by with only a 3-4 of those sliding down my gullet. 

     My question is this:  If you sit down and devour alot of Healthy Choice ice cream at one sitting (to the point that your bowel tells you it’s time to make a fastbreak for the toilet), at what point is it no longer a HEALTHY CHOICE???

     The biggest thing on my mind, at the moment, is when did all these unwelcome little lines and wrinkles make their appearance on my face?  It’s like one day I woke up and wham – there they were…my new little buddies. 

     I’m a good person, I believe in positive karma and all that happy, uplifting stuff, so what gives?  I know, I know, I shouldn’t focus on external beauty, blah, blah, blah.  Yeah right, tell it to someone else.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to curl up under a rock and call it a day or anything like that, but still, I’m going on the record to say, “Go away little wrinkly, crinkly buddies.”   

     Lately, I’ve become keenly aware of all the wonderful (according to all the manufacturers) face creams on the market.  In college, I used to roll out of bed, brush my teeth and show up for breakfast.  Now I wake up and slather on a couple of extremely overpriced creams that promise to make my face as smooth as buttah! 

So far, not so much.

     All our (and your) friends have the same issues as we do, ok let’s be real, they’re not issues…they’re freakin’ problems!  So the “issue” becomes how to juggle it all and feel like your brain isn’t going to explode inside your head.  

     From the littlest hiccup, like when your kid stares you down and screams that he/she doesn’t want another peanut butter and jelly sandwich… ever again to those doozies where your job is on the line, your kids need, need, need your attention at that very moment and the dog has just barfed grass all over the carpet.

     We feel your pain.  Just knowing that it’s pretty much universal for most of us working moms (unless you’re lucky enough to have a full time  household staff…and if you are, would you please consider adopting us???) makes it more bearable. 

     That’s one of the myriad of reasons we decided to start WorkingMomLifeline.com – bearable isn’t good enough.  We want to laugh, snort, giggle and share it all so that all of our days have fun in them!

So here’s the thing: all working moms are looking for something. Some (most) seek balance, others seek relaxation and yet others want to stop working, work less or even work more.

Regardless of what we’re each individually seeking, there is one thing we all — each of us — crave: SANITY.

And that’s what we’re here to give you, each and every day. A little helping of sanity. And a very humorous helping at that.

So join in on the fun. We can’t promise the ride won’t be bumpy (it is) or crazy (it will be!), we can promise to be in on it with you. And make it funny whenever we can.