Calorie Burner

     It’s easy to be respectful and thoughtful of people who don’t live under the same roof as you..and unfortunately, it’s all too easy to unleash a tyrannical tirade of ridiculousness on those who do share the same breathing space with you day after day.

     Since we all have (giving everyone the benefit of the doubt here) good intentions, I thought it would be great if there could at least be a little silver lining after the nagging thought of, geesh…I probably should have never said that out loud. 

     Here’s what I propose – that there would be a wonderful upside of extra calories burned for becoming unglued (not that I’m promoting acting like a crazy witch, but hey, it’s gonna happen from time to time anyway).    For example; Yelling through clenched teeth at your child prodigy for five minutes =  25 calories vanished.  Adding a couple of loud kitchen cabinet door slams to go with the clenched teeth = 40 calories that hit the road, lunging over the couch to throttle the unlucky recipient in a olympic style hurdle earns you a whopping 100 calorie free pass, etc. 

     I know that’s not very PC of me, but still, it would be nice, wouldn’t it?  Maybe the extra roominess in our jeans would help us be more tolerant in the first place.  Btw, there’s no reason to call HRS, I’m just kidding…well, sort of.

Doomsday Approaching…

     It’s coming, sneaking up on me like quicksand.  The theme to Jaws is playing in my head. I was feeling like a bad mom, but then I started asking other moms if they felt the same way.  The feeling seems to be universal.  What am I referring to, you ask?  The fact that summer is almost over (at least for us Floridians, where for unknown, inane reasons, school starts in the middle of August).  Growing up in New England, summer didn’t really end until the day after Labor Day…that’s still another 5-6 weeks of summer, by my calcs., but here in FL. school starts in 2.5 weeks.  YIKES!  Holy ickiness!! 

     The late buses, no-show buses, overload of forms to be filled out, fees required for ridiculous things (who the hell ever had to pay for a school locker when we were in school?), lunches and snacks that need to be made everyday because if the kids actually stood in line to buy food, they’d have 3 minutes left of lunchtime to eat the food, kids unhappy with their teachers, homework, afterschool activities up the wazoo, carpooling and shuffling here, there and everywhere, more homework followed by not so warm and loving exchanges between kids and parents, the guilt over not wanting to be a room mom, getting out of bed so early in the morning that it’s still dark out, bedtimes that have to be enforced so our little darlings can wake up somewhat ready to face the school day, etc. etc. etc.

     I’m thinking a tall cocktail is in order for all of us moms, or better yet, a foot massage - that way we’ll all be ready to do that we’re-running-a-few-minutes-late mad dash to the school bus.   You know, that big yellow thing that’s starting to pull away from the curb w/o your kid in it.

Yeah, I know you can relate.

Lactose High

What is it about nighttime and ice cream?

     I’m a relatively healthy eater during the day.  I do my share of biking, misc. cardio and working out to hopefully slow down the case of flabbies that I’m starting to see (ok, I’ve been seeing it for years now, cut me some slack), but somewhere between the hours of 9pm – 11pm, the freezer starts calling my name.  And I don’t mean just a faint whisper, I mean a full blown, “YO WOMAN, THERE’S YUMMY MOOSE TRACKS WITH YOUR NAME ALL OVER IT” kind of beckoning.  Hell, scrap beckoning, it’s like an invisible magnetic force and I’m a giant paperclip!  Do you feel me? 

     I’m not the kind of person who starves herself all day, nibbling at a couple of lettuce leaves so that by the time the evening rolls around, I’m simply ravished.  Nope, not my style, so don’t bother to tell me how to better balance my calories and then the sweet, lovely, creamy ice cream (actually frozen yogurt w/ candy in it) won’t seem so desireable.  It is, plain and simple. 

     Truthfully, I’m not looking for a trick or tip so I don’t eat the stuff – I’ve got enough smarts to figure out that I could toss all offending cool goodness down the drain and only buy sugarfree (which we have plenty of anyway) popsicles etc.  I also keep Dibs (those oh-so-cute little 16 calorie per bite) in the freezer, and plenty of nights make it by with only a 3-4 of those sliding down my gullet. 

     My question is this:  If you sit down and devour alot of Healthy Choice ice cream at one sitting (to the point that your bowel tells you it’s time to make a fastbreak for the toilet), at what point is it no longer a HEALTHY CHOICE???

Welcome…it’s addictive (we promise)

So here’s the thing: all working moms are looking for something. Some (most) seek balance, others seek relaxation and yet others want to stop working, work less or even work more.

Regardless of what we’re each individually seeking, there is one thing we all — each of us — crave: SANITY.

And that’s what we’re here to give you, each and every day. A little helping of sanity. And a very humorous helping at that.

So join in on the fun. We can’t promise the ride won’t be bumpy (it is) or crazy (it will be!), we can promise to be in on it with you. And make it funny whenever we can.